Funny Facebook Statuses

1. Hallmark is totally missing out on the You're Welcome card market.

2. Insomnia causes questionable browser history.



3. It seems that some people on Facebook "like" everything but grammar.
 
4. Sometimes I wish real world conversations had a 140 character limit...




5. Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?



6. Have you ever even watched MTV Cribs? I'm pretty sure we can keep downloading music without paying for it.



7. Holy crap, I just found out time travel is possible. You can go to 2004 by just following this link: www.myspace.com

I want to break up with you Monster Java

You are costing me $2 a day.

 I don't want to quit you. My house has never been cleaner and I have actually been going to the gym. Oh how I love the energy you give me...but you are costing me money and my dignity when I walk into the local gas station and buy 10 cans. I think the gas station workers are planning an intervention. Not to mention each can is 200 calories!

Facebook Funnies Pt 3

Funny Facebook Statuses

1. I think our smart phones are trying to make us look dumb by auto-correcting wrong words into our text messages!


2. Onions: $3.00, Caramel: $2.00, Popsicle sticks: $1.00. Watching your friends bite into a caramel onion thinking it's an apple: beyond priceless.


3. Sometimes you just see a post and think " yup its your own fault"


 
4. "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?" You don't understand how sex works, do you, Michael Bolton?
 



5. is I hate when I buy a bag of air and there's chips in it.



 
6. Considering I’m broke, I wonder if she’ll let me be her sugar-free daddy
 
 
7. In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami

Facebook Funnies Pt.2

1. The Global Warmer denier because it's cold outside


"Snow all this week, I guess there is no global warming afterall."


I have absolutely no opinion one way or the other on this issue. But it cracks me up when people think that because they look outside their own window and there is snow on the ground that means global warming doesn't exist. Global warming doesn't mean literally it will be 80 degrees outside everyday. It means wacky weather. And the data is pulled from decades of temperatures for the whole world, not just one week in one state lol.




2. The person who posts obsecure family drama


"I'm tired of certain people's crap, and they know who they are. I did not call CPS on you you lint picker"




3. The person who posts their amazing super productive day


"Just got done cooking homemade meal, washing all the clothes by hand, ran errands, built a Noah's Ark replica and wrote up a new peace treaty"




4. The check person


"Fixed dinner, check, gave kids bath check, cleaned up dinner check..." (you get the picture)




5. The 40 year old who uses net/text speak


"Hiii girlz, what's up? Had a great dayy yesterday, text me :):):)"




6. The person who posts their drunken party pictures the same day they post Bible verses





7. The people who post to everyone on fb as "facebookers"


"Good morning facebookers", "I'm going to bed for the night facebookers, see you tomorrow facebookers"




8. The person who acts like they are the first person ever in the world to be pregnant or get married and post endless posts and pictures about it.

facebook funnies pt 1

Showing My Picture

I haven't showed my picture on here before, so I thought I would show a day in my life.

Here I am doing the dishes. I cook so much, this is a never ending chore. No one appreciates it, I tell ya.

Here I am using my new vacuum cleaner. It works great considering I have lots of children and pets.

Awwww, this baby was upset. I gave it a kiss and now everything is all better. That baby does need alot of attention.

Now it's time to feed my children. They are always hungry.

Whew, I am tired but happy. Now I need to go soak in the tub and do something with this mess of hair. Tommorrow is a new day with lots of work to do.

Facebook Funnies

I chuckle alot when I get on Facebook and read my feed. It seems there are always pretty much the same status updates, just different people. I have a feeling, your facebook reads like this too.

1. The person who post low info medical drama

"At ER now, prayers please"

"MRI Thursday, not looking good"


2. The person who post what they made for dinner

"Homemade meatloaf, green beans fresh from the garden, baked potatoes, and apple pie made from scratch"

(I would like to know what they ate for dinner the rest of the nights...lol)


3. The person who lets you know what they are doing all day

"Have to go do laundry"

"Picking up the dry cleaning right now"


4. The political person

"I am going to post tons of opinion pieces from biased sources to keep trying to get you to understand how stupid you are for having your own political beliefs and you will finally agree with me"

(okay, so that's not really what their status update says, but it should)


5. The person who makes their life sound like a fairytale

"My wonderful husband cleaned up after dinner, enjoying a glass of wine while sitting in the hot tub, staring at my new diamond ring...life is wonderful"

"I love my life, I have the most wonderful husband, car, dog, pet, house, kids etc"


6. The person who constantly post pictures of themselves trying to look sexy

Need I say more???


7. The person who never writes an original status update. It's always famous quotes or song lyrics


8. The person who always post about their sick kids and family

"Greyson has been pooping all day, now he just threw up"

"Everyone in the family has a virus, when will the diarrhea stop?"


Can you think of any others??

Today's Funny

I was changing out the laundry and I guess baby decided her baby needed some lotion on.

And then she decided to finger paint in it

Today's Funny

In a matter of minutes

The damage was done. She opened up her Gerber Graduate Puffs, fed some to the dog and poured the rest on the floor. I grab the can she moves off to the drawer and takes everything out and then moves to the magazine rack and throws the magazines out. I couldn't keep up! Where's my coffee today?

Yoplait Winner and Special News

The Yoplait Prize Pack winner is Shonda.

To celebrate over 200 followers we will be having some special giveaways coming soon. I'm so excited! Thank you to all my new followers. You make this "job" fun :o)

So the cat this time decided to try out the playpen. I might as well throw a diaper on him and call it a day. At least I wouldn't have to clean out the litter box.

Todays Funny

Why should just the baby have all the fun?